Deewali is the festival of lights.

Tihar, Diwali, Deepawali. This holiday is really amazing, but also pretty complex. My understanding of it is limited, but I have been trying to learn, and I have definitely been celebrating. There are days to worship different animals; the crow, the dog, and the cow. There is also a day to respect brothers and sisters, where brothers give money to sisters and sisters give tikka (red dot between the eyes) and gifts in return. The animals also receive tikkas and garlands of orange flowers on their respective days. I will describe the first day of Diwali

I left the house and headed to the thamel with no particular goal in mind. I just wanted to wander around and see what happens on this festive evening. I had no idea what to expect. As I walked down the small streets of my section of town, I passed by many families and shop owners making sand pictures on the ground and lighting candles through the entrances of shops and homes. I noticed small crowds of young children singing to shop owners and receiving small rupee notes. It can be slightly compared to caroling, but they all sing one of 2 songs. I continued down the winding streets of closed shops and lights, candles, and celebratory flags strewn everywhere until I ran into a mob of people. It took me a minute to figure out that inside the mob was people singing and dancing "nepali style". The people on the outside of the circle sang and clapped along. I continued on my way to dinner. After dinner, I wandered into the streets of thamel, usually a very touristy place but on this night full of lively nepali singing and dancing. I walked with my new Nepali friend to meet up with some of his friends. He works for a cultural arts organization and him and his friends all play instruments. (i met him as my drum teacher) We joined his friends in an alley of this maze of walking streets where we celebrated life with whiskey, song, dance, 2 drums, and 3 nepali string instruments. (i forgot what they were called) The group finished in this space and moved to the storefronts of one shop to another. I followed their dance moves, their shouts and chants, and they were excited by the lonely westerner joining in the fun. My german friend who I'd met in India passed by the group and we joined him in some bar hopping and people watching. The night ended with a group of 4, each from a different country; America, Nepal, Germany, and Mozambique sitting on the top of a building in Kathmandu. The festivities slowly dispersed as the police tried to get everyone to go home and people just move their celebrations from one corner to the next. We shared cabs home and when I arrived at "the big house", I collapsed in my bed exhausted from the night of song, music, dance, lights, and a whole city celebrating the joys of life. It is amazing to see everyone celebrating the same holiday and really celebrating all together.

Now in Kathmandu

I left India and arrived in Kathmandu. The following day, I met up with my volunteer group. We put our luggage on a truck and walked through the bustling streets of Kathmandu to find the house that will be our home for the next month. We are a group of about 25, almost all Israelis. It was interesting to meet the people in the group. Most of them are just starting their travels and this is there first opportunity to travel and volunteer for an extended period. Everyone was so appreciative to be in Nepal and to be here to volunteer. I kinda felt bad because I had mixed emotions about leaving India. I found myself stuck between two amazing experiences. I was not quite ready to leave India, which left me thinking about Indian culture, music, the little bit of hindi and Indian way of think that I've picked up. I'm usually pretty good at taking each experience as it comes, but as I flew to Kathmandu, met with my house mates, and was introduced to the program, I realized that my head was still in India. It's taking a longer time to make it to Nepal than I thought. Though, I find that with each Nepali lesson, I find myself being brought into Nepal. I really look forward to volunteering in the village, and hope to end up as far away from Kathmandu as possible. As I meet these people who have gotten themselves into the unknown for the first time, I remember a little bit what it was like when I first began Peace Corps. The fascination with every tiny change in the ways of life, the wonder how people perform daily tasks without this convenience or that, the excitement of learning a totally new people, culture, and language. I almost miss the excitement. I am really excited about the new people, culture, and language, but I think the differences in way of life have lost some of their excitement. I walk down the street and see the vendors selling tubs for holding water, and I get nostalgic about my ger. I now know, firsthand, that no matter what conveniences are not available, I will be fine and I might even appreciate the simplicity. It is less a challenge, and more an acceptance. Things are "same same but different". The more I travel, the more I find this to be true.

Seeing India

Poverty, Malnutrition, Child Labor, Domestic Violence, Rape, Human Trafficking, Exploitation, Inequality, Unequal distribution of wealth, etc....

These are just some of the harsh realities of the world that we live in. These are things that happen all over the world. In India (and I think Nepal), these things feel much more "in your face" (for lack of a better word). Many westerners who travel through India hate it because it makes them uncomfortable. It is so sad for them to see the examples of extreme poverty, it makes them feel guilty for the life they have, and they would much rather return to their ignorance. Where children with pot bellies, skinny arms, covered in flies only exist on their television screen. Where they can send a check to an organization and tell themselves they are not ignoring the rest of the world. It is these blatant challenges to life that I appreciate in a place like India. In India, nobody can pretend that there aren't people who need their help. It is much harder to live your life without being reminded how lucky we are. I wish these westerners would see the harsh lives of these people and realize this is reality. This is the world. Not everything is shiny. One is not necessarily better than the other. It is often the most economically desperate people who know true happiness. Whats bigger is NOT always better. Want and Desire are causes of true suffering (to borrow from buddhist philosophy). I wish people could come, see, experience, help where possible, and most of all LEARN. LEARN. LEARN. Learn from the people, learn from a different way of life, learn from the conditions, learn from your reactions to everything that comes up, learn to appreciate, learn to understand, learn to SEE.

Musical Mcleod

I have so much to write about! I have been really having an amazing trip and I get so caught up on all the experiences that I forget to write in my blog. So, I want to try and give a full and complete update.

INDIA

I think that India challenges travelers in every way. While I was there, there were so many situations that came up where I really had to observe my reactions to things and figure out what to do next. I didn't have any of the unsafe experiences that fill the popular attitude of a single female traveling in India alone. I have met many female travelers enjoying a solo journey. When I meet women who have been to India and say they would never travel alone, I can't help but wonder what type of experience they had and what it is that keeps the fear within them. India is an amazing place with beautiful people, along with its many difficulties. I wonder if it's simply their attitude to travel or attitude towards locals. Or maybe they are just not comfortable being on their own without another person as a crutch. It makes me sad that people's own insecurities, misunderstandings, or negative attitudes lead to many misconceptions about India abroad. I spent my second month in India in Mcleod Ganj, the official residence of the Dalai Lama. My time there was as progressive and changing as my traveling period. I began with the Dalai Lama teachings and skipping vipassana. I then spent some time really into yoga and discovering a yoga teacher who I do not now his name, but will remain in my memory for a very long time. I then found myself getting to know many foreigners and locals. I and the people around me progressively formed a small community of people, engaging in musical conversations on a nightly, and sometimes daily, basis. I discovered my musical self. I have never been a very musical person. I am not one of those people who always downloads music, or has music on in the background. Actually, I spend most of my alone time in silence. For a long time, I have wanted to learn to play a certain type of drum, but music was never important enough for me to learn. In Mcleod, I discovered a musical being within myself. I finally bought a Djembe and decided to learn from anyone who wanted to teach me, instead of taking formal lessons. This was to save money, but more importantly because the love that I have developed for music involves people. It is a connection between people and rhythms that creates an atmosphere which is inherently spiritual. No matter what the situation. So, I learned some rhythms on the drum and as I practice have been learning how to also make my own rhythms. Now, I am in Kathmandu and have been missing the music and the people of Mcleod. I find myself in this volunteer house with Indian songs playing in my head and wishing people would suddenly break into the lively song and dance of Mcleod. At first, it appeared I was the only one who brought an instrument. Now, slowly, instruments keep popping up. I have heard a flute somewhere in the house, a guitar was found in one of the rooms, and my roommate used to sing in an acapella (sp?) group. I hope I will find a new musical outlet. The musical conversations of Mcleod were something I had not experienced in my life, and I now feel I can not live without. It will not be the same. But it is impossible to duplicate the bamboo hut on the top of the guesthouse in the foothill of the himalayas. The chilled evening air, beautiful stars in the sky, and the mix of Indians, Tibetans, Nepalese, American, Germans, Dutch, Brazilians, Israelis, Portuguese, Chileans, French, Australians, Kiwis, Mexicans, and many more coming together in song and dance in various languages but speaking the common language of music and movement. Here, we will create a new musical environment and different types of connections. I'm sure the experiences here will be just as beautiful and meaningful as those with Mcleod. I just feel gratitude for all the experiences and people that come by way.

Time to go...

I leave Mcleod Ganj tonight on a bus headed for Delhi. From there, I will take a flight to Nepal and begin a volunteer program. I have stayed in Mcleod Ganj for much longer than I intended. It is a tourist/backpacker haven, which makes me feel guilty for spending so much time here. But at the same time, I have learned A LOT. It is a magical place with nightly vibrations of music, where travellers, Indians, and Tibetans join together in song and dance. I have had the opportunity to make some very good Indian friends. They have taught me about marriage in India, attitudes and opinions towards Tibetan refugees, and the clashes between the Indian way of life and the tourism industry. I plan to write the things that I have discovered, but don't want to spend my last day here on the computer.

I am sad to leave Mcleod and sad to leave India. I feel like I have just scratched the surface of what India has to offer and plan to come back to see south India after Nepal. We'll see how things work out.

Namaste.

Pictures

As you may have noticed. I have not posted any pictures. I am having a hard time getting my pictures on a computer and am too scared they are all gonna accidentally be deleted. So, you can just google (images) the places that I go :)

India with a Purpose?

It seems that most people who travel to India come with a purpose. Whether it be for the yoga, meditation, religion, trekking, tibetan language, hindi, or the food. Everyone seems to have a purpose to coming to India. Some are searching for something and it is really interesting to see people who come to India searching for answers or for some sort of meaning of life. I think many of these people really just need to look within, however, India seems to have that effect on them Others get so caught up in the buddhism as a way to answer whatever question it is that they have. Before coming here, I had thought about this. I was on the airplane from Chicago to Delhi and I remembered that when I used to read travel stories of India, it often seemed people were either looking for something, or escaping something. I thought hard; why am I going to India? I didn't really have an answer. I wasn't going with any purpose. I chose India because I had heard a lot about it and it was a place that just seemed like it would be interesting. Even while travelling through the first section of my trip, I wondered. Why here? what's here that has drawn me? Still no answer. I am simply here to experience. I am here to travel. I am here to see what happens. And having no plan and no purpose has been one of the very best things about my trip thus far. It has served me well and seems to me to be the BEST way to travel India (for me).

I got to Dharamsala ready for the Dalai Lama teachings. I didn't even know why I was going, simply because everyone seems to get so excited about him and so I felt like I should check it out. I had tickets to see him in Long Beach, but he got sick and I wasn't able to see him. I was disappointed but not devastated. Here, in Dharamsala people were REALLY excited to see him. Innitially, I'd decided to see his teachings because they ended the day I was going to start my Vipassana, so I might as well go early and try to see him speak. And so, I did.

The teachings were about achieving a state of Bodhiccita, a state of beings that kind of serves as a stepping stone to englightenment. Now, I'm no teacher, but what I got out of a lot of the teachings and the talks around the teachings is this:
people want to become the best person they can be. They want to refrain from hurting others, and reach a state of self-realization and truth. They want to create positive energy for the world and to create "good karma" for the benefit of "all sentient beings". Basically, everything that they work hard to achieve is for the greater good of all people and living things.

This, I understand.

However, I was having a hard time with this idea at the same time. I had a hard time understanding how meditation and creating a better self was going to solve many of the worlds problems. I know the buddhist answer to this. According to Buddhism, creating a better self will help you reincarnate into a better being, and if everyone would work on better theirself and releasing themselves and others from suffering, the worlds problems would eventually be fixed. The most basic causes of this suffering are attachment, ignorence, and desire. I could go on and on about this, but I'm not going to. Anyway, to me people seemed pretty "attached" to this "desire" to a achieve or work towards enlightenment. My social worker mind is of couse thinking about the other types of suffering; famine, abuse, and lack of resources. I know the two are intertwined, it's just figuring out how. If only, I could tell people to meditate and to learn to detach themselves from whatever it is that is causing their suffering. If only it were that easy. This thought process, along with a couple other experiences I have had in India (good and bad) have made me realize that India has turned me into a social worker. Through my two years of MSW education, I fought with myself over where I wanted to take it, and even if I was studying the right subject. I graduated and didn't know which direction I was headed. I've never been into planning things, so I was pretty comfortable with this. I headed to India with no particular purpose, but now I feel like India is giving me it's purpose. I am taking yoga and learning from many different experiences and it is helping me form. I don't know where it will take me, but I have realized that India has a lot to teach social workers. I almost consider this as a part of my social work education. For the first time ever, I actually WANT to take the things that I am learning and will continue to learn and use it in social work practice. For me, thats a BIG step in a new direction. There are tons of things to learn here and I will be making the most out of these opportunities. I'm not saying I'm on a quest to search for opportunities related to social work, but I will say that I have finally discovered that I am naturally inclined in that direction. Without even trying, I happen upon experiences that will help me to better serve others. In this way, my meditation and learning is benefiting "all sentient" beings, and I don't have to become a nun. I'm still figuring out all the details and inter-relatedness, but in due time, it will come. The other day, I had just finished my yoga lesson and I was just thinking about some things and I realized that for the first time, I KNOW that I got my masters degree in the right field.

I do not concentrate on the future, I only concentrate on the present, but I know that these experiences are shaping my future in a way that only time will show what is to come.

Additionally, I have decided to keep this blog up to date. I never really know what I'm going to write, but I have realized that the majority of people that I know will never make it to India. Because of this, I guess I feel a sense of responsibility to share my experiences. To give others a taste of India that they would otherwise not have. Though the people reading this are getting a taste of "my" India, it is a perspective that does not exist anywhere else and will never exist again. India is giving me it's gift and I am giving my gift.