A shout out to the fam!!!

10-26-2008

This weekend was my cousin’s bat mitzvah in Michigan. In my time abroad I have missed out on weddings, birthdays, babies, and other momentous occasions of my friends and family. The only time I get a little homesick is when my work isn’t going well and one of these moments is passing me by (luckily, work is going pretty well). I have found that I am quite the family person. My family has been spread out throughout a few states for my whole life, and I always looked forward to the times when we all came together for whatever occasion it was that brought us there. I remember when I was young, first telling my mom that I wanted to move to Michigan one day… then some amount of years later, I changed to Arizona. These days, I know better. Michigan is a great state and I now know that I can handle the cold, but I would never commit myself to dealing with the cold year after year… with no known end. Arizona has a lot to offer, but I just can’t imagine being somewhere warm and not having the beach. I used say that Arizona would be perfect if it just had the ocean. However, the best things these states have to offer me is family. Many of my Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins are in Michigan right now, celebrating the Jewish coming of age of my only (first) cousin younger than me. The last time everyone gathered together in such an event was my other cousin’s wedding. And the next time (I think) will be one year from now at another cousin’s wedding. Over the years, we have only seen each other sporadically; sometimes more than others… but every time despite the physical distance I have always felt a closeness with my family, even if we don’t talk all the time. I may not have been there for every relationship, or breakup, wedding, child, or other momentous occasions, but that does not change my love for them. Some I haven’t talked to in years and others, the internet has provided an easy way to say “what’s up” every once in a while. We all have gone our separate directions leading our lives differently. In my family, we have a beautifully wide array of life paths; we’ve got doctors, lawyers, iron workers, probation officers, computer techies, store workers/owners, secretaries, teachers, and much more. (I’ve never been fond of groups of people who are all the same). We’ve got the outdoorsy, and the indoorsy, the book worms, bike riders, sports fanatics, and whatever other classification you decide to come up with. And somewhere, I fall into that mess. But we all come from the same blood. (and I include any and all members who have married in… in this instance, blood is used figuratively)
To be honest, I have few solid memories of my times spent with my family, as I was pretty young for most of them. I could probably come up with more if I thought hard or had the chance to reminisce. But this loss of recall of specific memories does not change my love for them.
Our family seems to only gather for occasions. Being the (2nd to) youngest of a bunch of cousins, I was pretty young for many of the occasions and have foggy memories of all the bar mitzvahs, deaths, and weddings. I think where my memory starts to become a little more clear is my grandmother’s death (though still patchy), and though it was a somber occasion, there is nothing more beautiful than spending so much time together (due to the Jewish tradition of sitting shivah). The next, I believe was my bat mitzvah… a whirlwind of events that I hardly remember, ending in my aunt and cousin moving to Michigan. If I recall correctly, the next time a large amount of us were together (that I was there for) was my Cousin M’s wedding. It had been a long time and we had all grown quite a bit. And thanks to my photo happy hands, I have some awesome snapshots of my family that I was sure to bring with me to Mongolia. That was the last time I was at a large family gathering, and the next will be my for my other cousin M’s wedding, which will be immediately after I return from this whirlwind of challenges, experiences, and at times, solitude, that we call the Peace Corps. There is nothing I would rather do after completing my time here than to see a large chunk (at least) of my family. You’ll notice, I never refer to these gatherings as my WHOLE family… this is because my WHOLE family is never there. Due to the size, some are always missing for whatever reason… leading to even larger gaps between the times that I see some family members. But the truth is, no amount of time can go by that will cause me to lose site of the meaning of family. And I think that being so far away has made me more apt to keep moving when I am back in the U.S. So, if you are reading this (some are)… be ready for some visits!!! (maybe I can even drag my mom along ; ) and for those of you who are reading this and are not in the family…. I’ll briefly explain. She’s not exactly the ‘traveler’ (sorry ma! It’s true! But my public props to you for getting out a little more while I’ve been gone) If I’ve done nothing else in the peace corps, at least I did that… unknowingly influenced my mom to go somewhere new.

And this is where I’m going to take a minute to give some props to the other part of my family… commonly known as my friends. The way I see it, there are small differences between ‘family’ and ‘friends’… at least, for a person who has been as fortunate as me to have many lifelong friends. It is very interesting when you go so far away to see what happens to your relationships. Some you hear from every day, some once in a while, others you’ll never hear from until you are back… and that’s ok. I think I’ve made it clear above that a person does not need to be in my eyesight, or even earshot, for me to hold them dear to my heart. There are many people that, even when I was in the states, I had somewhat lost touch with, but this doesn’t change the love. Some of my friends I have known since preschool or kindergarten, others I met when I was in middle school, high school, college, or post-college. And with each person, there is a connection that drew us together. No matter what path we pick, no matter our mistakes, achievements, or idleness, there is always the connection that caused us to become friends in the first place. Just like my family, I can not see these people for many years, but the moment I see/talk to them, the relationship is picked right up with an ease that makes you appreciate the invisible energy force that brings two (or more) people together.

And to come full circle, I want to end this blog with a HUGE CONGRATULATIONS to my cousin D for her Bat Mitzvah. I’m sure that she did wonderfully and I can’t wait to see the pictures. I’m sad I was unable to be there for this occasion, but I’m sure you all enjoyed and appreciated your time together. And I best see you all in a year!