Mongolian Wedding

10-15-07
I am told one of my counterparts is having a wedding. I could have sworn he was already married, but apparently he’s not. We meet at the office to go to a house warming party and to the wedding. I definitely didn’t know what I was in for…
We drive outside of the main part of town and pull up to four small white houses that don’t seem to fit anywhere in Mongolia. Later, I find out they are the habitat for humanity houses. That’s a different topic. We walk into one of the houses and meet with one of my coworkers. This is the house warming. I’ve been to a house warming in Mongolia before, but it was NOTHING like this. We immediately start shoveling food into our mouths. First it’s the candy, next the salads, and then the soup. And when I thought I couldn’t fit anything else into my mouth I am presented with a small plate piled high with khorac (I don’t know how to spell it in English, but it is the Mongolian word for any fried mixture of things….ex eggs, meat, carrots, potatoes, cabbage) and rice. I eat a little and set it down on the table in front of me. At this point the drinking of airag and Mongolian vodka wine has begun. Then the bottles of vodka are cracked open. Mongolians have a very specific way of drinking. One person sits with airag, fills a bowl and passes it to someone in the room. The person takes the bowl drinks and when they are finished, hand it back to the server. He adds airag to the bowl and hands it to the next person. All the drinks were served this way. It started out slow, but before I knew it, I was in a whirlwind of Mongolian vodka wine, red wine, airag, and vodka; Shots and bowls being handed to me from every direction. I was praised for my airag drinking skills and knew when the vodka got to me they would not be so impressed. This went on for a while, everyone socializing and drinking, and offering the liquids to the sky. Drinking in Mongolia is much different than the states. You would never see someone in the states offer part of their drink to the sky in some spiritual movement. The closest we thing we have is ‘pour some out of the homies’, this is much different. Throughout the day, I was playing with my counterpart’s absolutely adorable little girl. There’s something about Mongolian children; they are all beautiful. She was asking me how to say different parts of the face and body in English, and then she’d run to her mother and tell her, who then would repeat it and you could really tell she was trying to remember it. She started playing with my earrings. I was wearing these really nice gold hoopy earrings that my mom gave me before I left for Israel. The little girl pointed to them and started screaming ‘black girl’ at me in Mongolian. All the adults in the room told her to be quite and gave her a discearning look, unsure if I could understand. She ran to her mom and said it one more time before listening to them. At first I was completely confused. It took me about ten minutes for me to realize that she has only seen black people through MTV and when she sees gold hoop earrings, she thinks only black girls wear them. Keep in mind that she is about 4 years old. We can discuss the effects of MTV on the rest of the world another day. There came a point where they filled a different bowl of airag and passed it around the room. This bowl was like a baton, whoever held the bowl made a speech and sang. As the bowl was passed back and forth between the server and each person in my room, the tears started to fall. There came a point where I looked around the room and there wasn’t a dry female eye, except mine of course. My counterpart explained that the women had spoken about her deceased father. I don’t know what she said, but it must have been emotional. The crying went on through about three speeches and three songs. The entire time, I was enjoying the songs and wishing that I had learned a song during training. I officially think learning a song needs to be a mandatory part of Peace Corps training in Mongolia. It comes in handy much more than you would think. I was nervous for the bowl to come to me, so I had arranged to have my director sing Ainee Shovod, (sp?) a well known and very popular song, that happens to be the only one I know the name of and perfect for the occasion. She agreed, but when the airag bowl was passed to me, she looked at me and told me to sing ‘yesterday’. I was a little confused, then she sang the first word and I joined her. We sang a little bit of the song, and the people in the room were pleased. I made her sing Ainee Shovod afterwards, that way I had a Mongolian song too. After people sang, my two adorable counterparts sang another little tune that is something they sing after someone sings well. In case you don’t know, it’s impossible for me to sing well, but I appreciated the gesture. After a lot of singing, we went next door to the wedding. There were many people sitting around a table eating and singing. Weddings in Mongolia are more like a social gathering where people eat and drink a lot. It is informal and held in the person’s home. Looking back, I think the whole experience was for the wedding. Most house warming parties are full of eating and maybe a little drinking, but every wedding has airag, vodka, and Mongolian vodka wine. It was definitely an interesting experience that I really have trouble putting into words. Mongolians are definitely some of the most friendly and hospitable people. Sitting in a room where I did not understand much of what was said, I never once felt alone, bored, or uncomfortable. Sure, there are the awkward moments that come up, but I have basically gotten used to being a little awkward from time to time and I find it more amusing than anything.